Festival of Trees

 Today we finally had the chance to get to Salt Lake and see the "Festival of Trees."  I noticed I was a little tense this morning.  I wasn't quite sure what to expect and I was definitely apprehensive about how I would handle it emotionally.  Walking into the South Towne Exposition Center was rather overwhelming.  Tears started, but the sight was amazing!

 Row after row of beautiful trees, wreaths, quilts, Christmas decorations, and gingerbread houses.  It would take many hours -- more than we had -- to see everything.

 All of the trees were beautiful creations.  So much time and thought went into creating and decorating each and every item there.  Then, to donate them to be sold to benefit Primary Children's Hospital showed some incredible generosity.

 I think this was one of Lydia's favorites. . .

 We thought Brendan would like this one. . .

 Walking past hundreds of trees, you quickly realize how many people are being honored and remembered by their loved ones.  It was rather sobering. As we drew close to "L-4",  I caught sight of the back side of Brendan's tree.  The tears came and they were hard to stop.  Everyone was a little emotional.

 There is so much love put into this tree by Jeanne Fenton, Laurie Hansen and all of their family.  We could feel the love and we could feel of the spirit that Brendan's life brought to the tree.

 Everything on the tree has a special meaning.  And it was so meaningful to have so many of the ornaments handmade.  Just looking at the tree brought back a flood of memories.

The stars on the tree remind us of the star that was put in the castle at Give Kids the World in Florida during Brendan's Make-A-Wish trip.   Of the star he hung at the Wishing House in Salt Lake City.  Of the star named after him and given to him by his good friends, the Loveland's.

The bells on the tree remind us of how close Brendan was to ringing the "end of treatment" bell at the hospital.  But he didn't want to ring it if he was going to have more chemo or be in the hospital longer.  So he waited.  And he never did get to ring the bell.  But now we have bells to remind us that he is free of cancer.

Gold is the color of childhood cancer.

The figurines remind us of family and love and being together-- the things that were most important to Brendan.

And everything else on the tree -- the feathers, the wings, the white flocking -- remind us of all things angelic.

 We are so grateful for the donors: Troy & Sheila Kartchner, AgSciTech, Inc. (Salam and Anna Awada, and Harold Selman, Inc. (Fred and Laura Selman) for their willingness to help fund the tree and share Brendan's story.

 I've never felt so much joy, gratitude, and pain all rolled up together.  I can feel it stretching my heart and expanding my capacity to feel and empathize.  I know I would still not trade all the lessons I learned this past year in order to have things the way they were before.  But with all this learning and feeling, I sometimes wish I didn't feel so much all at once.

Every time I see that smile I just can't help but smile myself!