The Gift

Last July I was given an amazing gift.  Many gifts, actually.  But one in particular made a huge impact on me.  It was a baby granddaughter.  She arrived just 8 short days before Brendan passed away.  Her timing was perfect.  She came “trailing clouds of glory.”  Her parents named her Allison.  We call her “Allie” for short.   

The day Allie arrived on this earth Brendan was in the Budge  Clinic for a platelet transfusion.  I talked him into walking over to the Women’s Center so we could see the new baby.  I loved his happy expression and his tender touch as he sweetly held baby Allie for the first time.  

The next morning Brendan was LifeFlighted from the hospital in Logan to Primary Children’s Hospital in Salt Lake in extreme pain.  Loren was there as we lifted off to wave good-bye.

 The doctor’s in Salt Lake confirmed that Brendan would not be with us much longer.  One doctor predicted it may only be hours.  The kids were all called and they quickly headed to Salt Lake and gathered in Brendan’s hospital room in case good-bye’s were imminent.  Along with Jamie, (who had just been released from the hospital herself), Allie came.  She was calm and peaceful, and she brought those gifts with her to share with us.  

Soon after Allie and the kids arrived, Brendan awoke from his medication induced stupor.  He held Allie.  We all held Allie.  We loved her.  I loved Jamie for bringing her sweetness and letting us soak it in.

I’ve often tried to imagine what it must have been like for Jamie.  To be 24 hours postpartum, just released from hospital care, and be thrown into the midst of the anguish and turmoil of a traumatic event.  Yet she graciously came, and she lovingly shared her one day old daughter— without thought of her own comfort or concern for Allie. It was a gift of beautiful proportions.  

The gift continued throughout the week as Brendan rallied and was able to return home. My beautiful daughter-in-laws, Jamie and Kristen, brought their families and moved in with us to be close to Brendan and share the last precious moments of his life.  Again, I can’t imagine the  physical and mental toll that came with that sacrifice.

By Friday afternoon, Jamie was ready to get out of the house and willingly allowed one-week old Allie to spend the afternoon with Brendan and me while the rest of the family went to Renegade Sports to celebrate “A Day for Charlie.” Go carts, pizza, and friends were there to show support and love for Brendan in his last days of life.  (Little did we know at that time, we were within 18 hours of him departing.)

So, left to ourselves for the afternoon, it was just Brendan and me and tiny Allie.  All alone.  In those blissful, quiet, sleepy moments I received one of the greatest gifts I could ever imagine.  Allie on one arm, sleeping.  Brendan gently holding my other hand, resting peacefully for the first time in days.  It was a beautiful gift.  I was touched as I watched these beautiful children and contemplated the “comings and goings” of life.  One of these precious children had just arrived.  One was just departing.  The veil was thin.  The spirit strong.

A year later, I’m still overwhelmed with gratitude for the gift I was given.  Heavenly Father, in his eternal wisdom, gave me just what I needed at that time.  Perspective, peace, and a deep knowledge of his love for all his children.  Those coming and those going, and all of us in between.