I think I can talk about it now. . .

Today was a recuperation day. . . for me.  I'm sure Brendan benefitted from it too.  I'm sure we both needed a recuperation day.  I came home to sleep in my own bed, and gather the kids, and get prepared for birthdays.  Yes, I know it's Halloween. But on Halloween, we celebrate birthdays.  

Aaron got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa and trick-or-treat with his cousins.

 Maddy and Landon, for their birthdays, wanted to celebrate their day with Brendan. So off we went.

Brendan went for the stormtrooper look today, instead of Darth Vader.

 When we got to the hospital, Brendan was being encouraged by his nurse to get out in the sunshine. He is quite pale and hasn't seen the sun for days and days.  He had a two hour break before his IV antibiotics and a blood transfusion, so we spent some time in the outdoor patio area on the 3rd floor.

 Shaun played the guitar, Landon kept us laughing with Patrick McManus stories, and we all soaked in some much needed sunshine!

 Naptime?

 Time to open presents.  Brendan was pretty beat by this time.  They keep saying a pint of blood will give him some energy.

Grandma sent plenty of treats for Brendan to share!

 Brendan was so excited to give Maddy and Landon their presents.  We are so glad he could participate in their birthday celebration. He's been looking for presents for them all week!

 Landon was excited to help Brendan put together a lego set.  He thought that was a great way to celebrate his birthday.

So, yesterday I couldn't even talk about the surgery on Tuesday.  I knew that I didn't want Brendan to have to experience another surgery, but I also knew that I didn't want them to leave cancer in his lymph nodes because of the increased radiation he would have to endure.  And that comes with a lot of increased side effects.  So, I don't know what I wanted to hear.  But hearing we would be going through surgery again this week kind of rocked my boat.  And Brendan's.  In between celebrating Halloween and getting his port changed, we had a quiet moment together and we both just cried.  Together.  And the tears just spilled out.

Today we didn't even talk about it.  It didn't come up to ruin the fun of all being together.  We will face that again on Monday when we meet with the surgeon.  In the meantime, we will just keep celebrating being together!