I'm Listening. . .

It is 6:37 in the morning and we have already talked to the neurosurgery team and the ENT team.  (First time neurosurgery has come before ENT!)  I don't expect anyone else in until after 7 a.m. when the nurses change shifts.  Then it will get quiet again.

I lie here trying to hear what Brendan hears.  He hears everything. He lies very still and quiet with the towel over his head and he listens.  The Dr.'s all think he's asleep, but I know better.  The nurses are starting to figure it out. So I lie here quietly and listen.  For the first time in over 24 hours I know Brendan is really asleep.  I can hear the deeper breathing that I haven't heard since I came back Monday morning.  Yesterday his breathing was shallow and I couldn't hear him take a breathe.  I  could just see his chest rise and fall with short, shallow breaths.  So I watched the monitor a lot.  I think the antibiotics are starting to help.

Last night I heard him talk to the nurse.  Instead of a weak grunt, (his usual response to requests when he's hurting), the conversation went something like this:  (Nurse) "I'm sorry to have to do this."  (Brendan) "Then don't!"   (Nurse, handing Brendan his medicine) "Well, I have your medicine for you to take."  (Brendan, pretending to reach for the garbage can) "So where is the garbage so I can throw this away.)  The nurse had just come on shift and Brendan had her laughing with several of his sarcastic comments.  We knew then that while he wasn't feeling great, he was at least feeling a little better.

This morning I can hear the monitors beeping and dinging in the other patients rooms.  Fortunately, none have gone off in here this morning to wake Brendan.  (He hates the IV pumps and vitals monitor going off.  It hurts his head.)  I hear the helicopter coming in this morning and wonder who is having to change plans this morning.  I hear the nurses out in the hall getting the new nurses updated as they prepare to change shifts.  I hear the food cart wheels coming down the hall as they bring breakfast to other patients.  (Interestingly, one of the sounds that sets Brendan off is the sound of plastic wrappers.  When the nurses and doctors unwrap something he's quick to ask, "What are you going to do to me?")

Poor kid! We gave him some Tylenol at 11 p.m. hoping to help him feel better and to bring down the fever he still had, but he ended up throwing it all up.  The doctor on call wouldn't approve an IV Tylenol, so we tried again after an IV dose of Zofran (for nausea).  He kept that dose down but threw up again spontaneously at 5:30 this morning. He only had a few bites of pears yesterday and is back on maintenance IV fluids.  They also have him on more antacid fluids as he threw up a little blood this morning.

Neurosurgery said to not push anything this morning.  Let him eat if and when he is ready, let him get up only if and when he is ready, and we will see how the antibiotics are working.   They changed one of his antibiotics to Cefepime for better coverage until they can narrow down the bacteria in his spinal fluid.  His temperature is down this morning and they are watching carefully to see if it stays down.

ENT is still searching for an answer as to what to do with the lymph nodes in Brendan's neck.  Apparently, there is a conference at the Huntsman Cancer Institute this Friday where radiation oncology and many head and neck specialists are getting together.  Brendan's case will be presented and they will discuss what to do then.  Everyone freely admits that they just don't know enough about this type of cancer to know how it will respond to the various treatments.

Of all the listening I've been doing, I've tried really hard to listen to the promptings of he Spirit.  With all that has happened, I still feel peace and comfort that all is well.  Brendan is touching so many people here with his goodness and I feel he is making a difference in the lives of many. People are drawn to him and he makes them smile.  Heavenly Father's plan of happiness is the ultimate plan and as I keep that plan in mind, I know that everything is the way it should be.