God Is In Charge

(A big thank you to Shaun's sister, Shanda Call, who took so many beautiful pictures so that we may always have these treasured memories!)

For days I have debated whether or not to post these talks from Brendan's funeral services.  I have spent days transcribing them and listening once again to their sweet message -- that God is in charge.  For those that were not able to come to Brendan's funeral, I felt I needed to share.  I'm so grateful to our wonderful Bishop and Stake President for speaking truth and bearing testimonies of faith.  And I'm grateful to Shaun for his courage to share these stories and experiences that are very special to us.

Shaun:
We're so grateful that you're here, our dear friends and family, and so many who have loved with us and cried with us, brought gifts, and have done what you were inspired to do to lift our spirits and help our family, to help Charlie.  We are eternally grateful for each one of you who have crossed our lives and impacted us for good.  We are eternally grateful.

We've heard a lot since we found out that Charlie wasn't going to be with us long. We've heard so many times this isn't the way it's supposed to be.  You aren't supposed to have to bury a child.  And I can assure you that when Charlie was born in July 2004, that was the farthest thing from my mind.  He came –a beautiful little package – with dark hair, like his mom.  And those beautiful eyelashes which I'll admit, did come from me.


You know he's always had many more girl friends, than boy friends.  And there's a reason for that, I'm not sure it was just the eyelashes, though.  Charlie has always loved his dear friends and he's had so many good ones who have blessed his life.  And we've been so grateful, for the influence of good friends in his life.   And good family members.

When he was born I remember holding him and I remember saying, “Heavenly Father, thank you for this child.  And Heavenly Father, if there's one thing I cannot do it's lose a child.  I can do anything I'm asked to do, but please don't ask that.  I can't do that.”

Just two short months later, we blessed Charlie and I want to share some things with you today.  You know a lot about Charlie if you've been on the blog and you know our family.  There are some things most of you don't know that I want to share.  Our Heavenly Father is full of tender mercies.  He loves each of his children.

We blessed Charlie in September, and in that circle was his grandfather and uncles.  And I began that blessing as I had done, I guess, with 7 others that had gone before Charlie.  And I could feel the Spirit was there and I was so grateful.  Baby blessings are always so wonderful – all the wonderful things you foresee in the future of that child you are holding in your arms.  And I was speaking, and I blessed Charlie that he would have good health and strength until his mission was completed upon this earth.  And at that point I could not go on any further with his blessing.  Tears came and the Spirit spoke to me.  And in that time when I couldn't speak, our Heavenly Father let me know that Charlie would not be with us long upon the earth.  And I felt a profound sorrow.  The sweet spirit told Kerry the same thing at the same time.  We haven't shared that with many, but there is a reason I share that with you now.

As Charlie so recently said, 'God is in charge.”  And I want you to know -- this isn't the way it's usually supposed to be -- but I want you each to know that I know that this is what God had in mind for Charlie, and that God knew from the very beginning.  And in his tender mercy he let us know that this would be Charlie's course.  We didn't know how long it would be.  We didn't know what he would have to suffer.  We didn't know whether it would be quick or long – a year or thirty.  We hoped it would be long – longer.  It was such a short time to be with our sweet boy.  But I want you to know that God knows what he is doing.

We are so grateful for Him revealing that to us.  It has been a blessing and a burden.  When Charlie would go play or go on some adventure I couldn't help but think, “Is this it?  Is something going to happen to Charlie?”  And that was a difficult burden to bear.  But when he was diagnosed with this tumor, we knew.  We hoped and we prayed for the kind of miracle that sometimes happens. That Charlie's life would be extended.  And it may have been.  This 8-10 months was such an important time for Charlie and for our family.  This was an important part of his mission.  But we knew that our Heavenly Father was calling Charlie home.  This has given us a great amount of peace.

There came a time when we shared this with Charlie – when we knew the end was coming.  I have never seen so much faith and confidence.  And for an 11 year old to have unshakeable faith in his Heavenly Father and to know that his mother and father knew, and he knew – he felt that sweet spirit come to him and bear that witness that this was the right thing – that this was his time.  And we didn't know then, we found out later, why Charlie was being called home.  We have learned through wonderful blessings that Charlie was foreordained for the work that he has done here upon the earth.  That Charlie chose to be a guide, literally to be a guardian angel for his family, to lead the way.  What a tremendous sacrifice, if you think about this, that he knew and chose this before he came to this earth.  And that this was our Heavenly Father's plan for him.  Looking at it that way, Charlie has always loved his family and been close, and has always been determined to have his family around him, whether it was out in the yard, or around him when he passed on.

Charlie has been about the temple and about eternal families from the very beginning.  And this was consistent with his great call, with the work that he was foreordained to do both on this side of the veil and on the other side.  And we know that now.  And what a tremendous blessing and peace that that brings.  I can tell you now that we had no idea the Gethsemane that Charlie would have to go through.  I feel to read a partial stanza of a poem that I love by Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

All those who journey soon or late,
Must pass within the gardens gate
must kneel alone in darkness there.
And battle with some fierce despair.
God pity those who cannot say
“Not mine, but thine,” who only pray,
“Let this cup pass,” and cannot see
The purpose in Gethsemane.

Charlie has gone through his Gethsemane here upon the earth.  And we watched a boy transform into a man in such a short period of time.  We watched him being taught by Heavenly Father and taught by the Spirit.  He was close.  And he would say things that would lead us to say, “out of the mouths of babes.”  And we knew and we felt that our Heavenly Father was preparing him and had prepared him for his mission here upon the earth and in the eternities.  And that he was being sustained and strengthened and taught line upon line and precept upon precept but in a much hurried fashion.

A few days before Charlie left this mortal existence, I asked him, “Charlie, is there anything that you haven't done, anything left on that bucket list of yours, that you need to accomplish before you go?” And to think of all the things a child of 12 might want, all the things they could ask for, and what was on Charlie's mind?  He wanted us to call his aunt and his uncle who hadn't had the blessings of the temple yet.  And he wanted them to come so he could spend time talking to each one of them individually about the importance of the temple and of eternal families.  So profound.  And he was able to do that.

I also want you to know that Charlie, despite all his pain, he never lost his sense of humor and his wit. And I know this served him well here upon the earth, kept us lighthearted and laughing, but it will also serve him well on the other side.  I'm convinced there is humor there.  The day before Charlie died, he was in quite a bit of pain. At this point he was struggling for breath.  And that was so difficult for us to see.  He couldn't even cry because it cost him too much air and he didn't have it.  He would start, sometimes, to cry out, but he had to go back and struggle for breath.  But Charlie, bless his heart, I asked him again, “Charlie, is there anything else you need to do before you go?”  Charlie looked at me, then said, “The urinal --would be nice before I go.”  And he flashed me that sideways glance and that sweet smile of his and I just knew he had accomplished his work and that all was well, that all was done.

Charlie has visited us since he left his body behind.  His message to us and to all is that “All is well.”  He's happy, he's smiling, he's here, he's bouncing, and he's in no more pain.  Charlie, we love you eternally, and we can't wait to be with you again.

I leave my testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel, of the love of God for each of us, the love of our Savior and their tender mercies.  And I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

 Bishop Brad Hawkes:
I was one of Brendan's school teachers.  5th grade.  He came to me for science.  Brendan did not like tests.  And I think that was true throughout this whole experience.  Especially tests with needles, we learned.  And he had to learn patience, I think, with the staff, sometimes.  He did not like tests.  Now Dale (Major) just reminded us that sometimes we view this life as a test.  But I would like to take a different view on this life.  This life, really is not a test.  It is a time to become.

You see, Brendan loved to do.  Brendan was a doer.  He liked to get out.  He didn't like the tests, but he liked to do.  He liked to be involved, he liked to be around people, friends.  Brendan was becoming what he needed to become.  Now Brothers and Sisters, all of us are becoming too.  And because of Brendan we have changed.  As he became more like his Savior, Jesus Christ, he taught us how to also become more like our Savior.  From throwing his arms around his mother's neck and thanking her, that's what we need to do.  As we show gratitude, to not only to our mothers and fathers, our brothers and sisters, but neighbors and friends and strangers, we will become more like our Savior, Jesus Christ.

This earth is a time to become.  And Brendan has achieved that, but he is still becoming.  As has so beautifully been pointed out, death is not the end of our existence.  Brendan still has his witty sense of humor.  He still has his sense of gratitude and love and caring.  And he cares for each one of us, and each one of his family.  He loves you immensely!  Because through this experience he has learned to love you. And he hopes you will learn to love too, even more than you already have.  And those I feel would be his words to us, that we strive to become like our Savior, as he learned to become through his time here on earth. Brothers and sisters, I testify of Jesus Christ.  He lives.  He loves us.  He cares about us and he wants us to become like him and enjoy the blessings of eternity.  Of this I testify, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

President Charles Acevado:
I would like to thank everyone that has participated, and thank the Peck's for being the great family that they are.  And I just want to add my testimony to those that have already been shared.
The spirit has been here. It's strong.  Those ministering angels that watch over all of us are here.  Brendan has moved on, he is continuing his work.  And, believe me, he will be put to work.  The scriptures talk about, in the Doctrine and Covenants, where Christ went, that interim between when his body was laid in the tomb and the three days before he was resurrected.  He was teaching the gospel.  But he couldn't teach everyone the gospel, so he anointed those to teach.  And there was rejoicing for those that were able to spread this great Plan of Happiness and plan of salvation to others.  And Brendan is now doing that and furthering His work.

Bishop Peck mentioned that “we are not supposed to outlive our children.” And in our view, that's true, but in God's eye, sometimes that isn't the case.  And there is a reason for it.  And that reason is for us to come closer to our Heavenly Father, to go through the trials and afflictions that we need to, to become like Him.  And that is how Brendan came to know his Savior -- through the trials of his affliction – through the fire of his affliction. And that is how we come to know our Savior.  So that hope, and that faith becomes a sure knowledge, that He lives, and that this is His plan.  And in the end, we will be reunited and will have that great happiness and joy that comes from the gospel.  “And God will wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain.  For the former things are passed away. (Revelation 21:4)”  And that is the plan of salvation.  And that comes from a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior who is wiling to sacrifice and do what He has done for us. And I leave that with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

For those not of our faith, some of this may be difficult to understand.  More about our beliefs can be found here: https://www.mormon.org/beliefs/plan-of-salvation