Guarded Optimism

I awoke this morning early and watched the room lighten.  In the quiet dark I had plenty of time to think.   I thought of Aaron's favorite Primary song that he has me sing to him every night I'm home, "Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you hear and answer every child's prayer?"  I prayed, I listened, and moments later, at 6:30 a.m., a text lit up my phone.  It was a note from a dear friend telling me she felt impressed to text me and tell me I am loved and thought of.  Yep, He hears and answers prayers.

As the morning went on, notes, well wishes, and comments poured in and I felt strengthened, lifted, and supported through a time when I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Uncle Jack and Aunt ShaMayne came to visit.  Jack and Brendan are "partners-in-crime" (or cancer) and Jack came for some tips from Brendan on what to expect when he gets his port put in on Friday.

Having them here helped the time pass quickly before Brendan had to head down for his biopsies.

Brendan was very nervous about the procedure and was quite hyper and silly -- his way of coping with his nerves.

We spent about an hour and a half getting prepped and ready for the procedure.  There was a lot of waiting, so the ED (Emergency Department) child life expert brought Brendan a Star Wars lego set to put together while he waited.

While we were waiting for the procedure, a baby in a room across the hall was crying hysterically.  Brendan felt terrible!  He couldn't stand it.  He said he wanted to just walk across the hall and go hold the baby so it would feel better.  Finally, he suggested we pray.  He offered a beautiful prayer that the baby would be comforted and that the pain would go away.

Brendan was taken to the RTU (rapid "something" unit) where they gave him anesthesia and began the 4 bone marrow biopsies and aspirates.  Fluid was also drawn for cultures for the Infectious Disease team.  The procedure took about 40 minutes and another 20 minutes with him in recovery before he started to wake up.  Once he woke up, I was able to join him in the recovery room.  He was in quite a bit of pain and was quite groggy.  He was also very cold, so they wrapped him in warm blankets while they transported him back to his room on the 4th floor.

The pain was sharp and we finally had to give Brendan more pain medicine.  He was quite agitated as well (typical for Brendan coming out of anesthesia).

So I was happy to see, just then, that Tanner came for Brendan's music therapy.  Tanner sang songs Brendan liked, softly and slowly, while Brendan calmed down and relaxed.  It was just the thing Brendan needed.  Brendan's favorite song is one Tanner wrote himself.

The afternoon was calm, but by evening Brendan's hips began to hurt again.  I gave him a bed bath and changed his clothes and his bedding.  All that movement hurt Brendan's hips and he began to cry and become very irritable.  He was also very upset when the doctors came to tell us that they wouldn't be sending Brendan home today.  The infectious disease team still wasn't comfortable not knowing what was causing fevers and questioning if Brendan could maintain no fevers once he was taken off of the antibiotics.  Brendan was very disappointed.

He was so disappointed that he didn't fully appreciate the good news they brought.  Which was that with the very early preliminary testing on the biopsies, they haven't seen anything yet that looks like metastasized cancer cells.  They were quick to caution that the testing is far from complete -- we won't have any further results until at least late tomorrow night -- but at least it was good news so far. The pathology results shouldn't take as long as the initial diagnosis since we already know what kind of cancer cells we are dealing with.

With Brendan sad, frustrated, and hurting, he was upset with the doctors and nurses who were trying to work with him.  After a little while, he began to cry -- feeling bad for treating them so poorly.  He vowed he was going to do better and be nicer.

Within a few minutes, the "Art Lady" showed up at the door.  She could see Brendan was having a hard time and she asked if he wanted some slime to squish in his hands to help him feel better.  He said, "Sure!"  And from that point on, the whole evening turned around.

  Paint, glue, and some "magic" solution was brought in for Brendan to work with.
 He poured.  He mixed.

 He added the solution.

 And ended up with some pretty cool slime!

 Tomorrow the Art Lady is coming back so they can make some more for Brendan to take home for his brothers and sisters.  Brendan's already looking forward to that.

The oncology doctors are trying hard to get Brendan discharged sometime tomorrow.  They want him to be able to go home and not have to wait around at the hospital for the final biopsy results.  The hold up is what ID (infectious disease) feels they need to do before they release him, and what medicines to send him home on.  They don't want him to leave, only to have to come right back in.  I agree.