The Gift of Giving. . .and Receiving

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Sarah:  I've wondered a lot how Christmas this year will be--what will be different? What will be exactly the same? How will Charlie be feeling that day? Will he be too sick to enjoy it? I knew that Charlie would have presents. Sometimes it feels like every day is Christmas for him with all of the kind things people do and send for him. One thing though, that I never expected, were the boxes and boxes of wrapped presents that I found under our tree when I came home today. 

At first I thought my siblings must have been cranking out presents like crazy, but I realized there was no way they could have produced so many (especially with our family's handmade gifts policy). Then I wondered if all of these presents had come for Charlie, but to my shock I saw that there were multiple presents for my little brothers and sisters, older brothers, sisters in law, me, and even my niece and nephew. I couldn't and still can't believe that people cared enough about our entire family to include each and every one of us. At that point, my eyes may have accidentally started leaking a little bit. 

Good morning! 

So many times, my family has been on the giving side of a project like this. I can't ever remember a year that we haven't provided gifts for a family that we thought needed an extra-special Christmas. All those years, I've always loved doing it. It always feels so good to help others. As good as it's always made me feel, I've never once put myself in the shoes of the recipient; I've never imagined what it would feel like, I've never contemplated the emotions that they must experience. I never ever imagined that I would ever be on that side of things. After all, bad things just don't happen to my family!

More games!

But one thing I was sure of was that getting all those gifts could never feel as good as giving them. I mean, that's like the mantra of Christmas, right? It's better to give than receive? So I always considered myself the lucky one, getting to give to those less fortunate than I. Well now I'm here. And it's amazing. 

I have no idea what those presents hold. They could be package upon package of socks for all I know. What they represent, though, is that someone cares. That a lot of people care. And not just about Charlie, but about me, about Rachel and Landon and Lydia and all of the others. I am still having such a hard time fathoming that so many people care so much about each of us to give us individual gifts.

Brendan working on his Physical Therapy exercises

Kind of like how I still have a hard time fathoming how One Perfect Individual cared so much about each of us to give us the greatest of all gifts. It's touching for me to know that the same love that drove Jesus Christ to extend the gifts of mercy, grace, and eternal life to each of us individually continues to drive teachers, neighbors, and even perfect strangers to give individual gifts to us. 

Brendan's bi-weekly blood draws.

Is my family less fortunate? I still don't think so. We have so much; we've been blessed beyond belief. And it makes me think that maybe I've been looking at this all wrong for a long long time. We don't give gifts because people are less fortunate than us--because they're poorer, or sicker, or smaller or sadder. I think we give gifts because Jesus taught us how. Gifts are an expression of love. Although gifts have never been my top "love language," I'm coming to understand what a valuable communicator of love they really are, because they can transcend time, space, and levels of acquaintance. It's an expression that can come from people we know as well as those we don't. While I've been giving gifts all this time to help people, instead they should be a way for me to express my love for my fellow strugglers along this mortal journey. I should be giving gifts because that's the way Jesus shows his love to me. 

It's been a good day!  Lots of energy and smiles.

I wish I could thank everyone for all the gifts they've given my family--meals, toys, the Christmas CD that someone taped on my car in the parking lot as a random act of kindness, the movie tickets, did I mention food?, games, clothes, beanies, more food, countless lego sets, and much, much more. 

No matter what's inside the package, we feel your love. 

Kerry:  Sarah and I were obviously on the same page today.  I've been thinking a lot about gifts (what do they mean?, why are they important?) for the past few months.  But today really hit home as the generosity and love spilled into our home.  I realize I have a lot to learn.  I guess that's the beauty of trials.  We learn things we didn't know we needed to learn.  

Ten treatments left today.

 One of those lessons is this -- It's a beautiful experience to receive as well as it is to give.  Like Sarah, I always thought the warm, happy feelings always came when you gave something to someone else -- not when you were the recipient.  But I've learned better.  It is a blessed experience to be a grateful receiver as well as a giver.

Working to get the mask tighter.  With the weight Brendan has lost, and the swelling down in his face after surgeries, they are padding the mask making sure there isn't too much wiggle room in there.

 My heart swells with love and gratitude every time I think of all those who have sacrificed so much to give gifts to us and to Brendan.  Gifts come in all shapes, all sizes, and in hundreds of different ways.  Some gifts are tangible, and some are not.

 But they all carry with it love and caring.  And it feels good -- on both sides.

More adjustments.  It was too tight on his chin and made it so he couldn't breathe well.  

 Like Sarah, I'm grateful for a Savior that shows us how to give good gifts.  And I'm grateful for this beautiful time of year when the Love of God sheds itself abroad throughout the earth.  What a great gift we've all been given!

Getting the machine into position.

Lunch.  Except he didn't drink any of it but one tiny sip.  We used it to clean out his feeding tube.

We enjoyed our lunch!  It was good to hear Brendan talk again.  When he isn't feeling well, he doesn't say much.  Today he talked and talked.

A late night game with his Uncle.