You'll Know. . .

Bringing Brendan home from the hospital after surgeries, radiation, and his first round of chemotherapy, was a lot like bringing home a newborn.  It was a little nerve racking thinking maybe we wouldn't know how to take care of him.  I remember the oncologist giving us the standard instructions about bringing Brendan back to the hospital if his temperature reached 101 degrees or was above 100.4 for more than an hour.  Shaun and I nodded our heads (trying to remember which numbers for how many hours?) and asked, "So we should take his temperature each day to check?  Like maybe at bedtime each night?")  I remember the surprised look and the answer, "No.  You'll know. . ."

Well, he was right about that.  When Brendan starts to fever, we know.  And we know what to expect when he does.   Now that I've seen a seizure and what caused it, I know what to look for.  (Today his sodium count is 139 -- a good number for his sodium levels.)  We've learned to "know" a lot more things.  Like how to know if his feeding tube is hooked up tight at night so it doesn't come undone and leak (what a mess!)

Another suggestion given to us by both the social worker and the child-life expert when we left the hospital was to "be normal."  Well, you know how hard it is to act normal when someone says, "Just act normal!"  People act normal when they aren't thinking about it.  As soon as we start to think about how to act normal, things just feel awkward.  And how do you act normal when cancer isn't "normal?"

While we are still trying to figure it out --(must not be one of those "you'll know" kind of things)-- we  try to keep home life as normal as possible.  We try not to get too overly obsessive about keeping everyones hands sanitized and the doorknobs wiped down (though we tried for awhile).  We also tried for awhile to keep everyone from coughing or sneezing, (but that's impossible).  So, for now, we are settling into a "normal" life of washed hands, covered coughs, and blood count checks. (It helps since Brendan's blood counts have stayed "normal" every draw so far.)  

Another way to stay "normal" (according to the social worker and child-life expert) is to not give Brendan special privileges or keep the other kids from treating him any differently than they did before.  While we've had to modify some of his "jobs," he is still required to get his jobs and homework done before he plays.  Having two weeks of home life is giving us more practice at being "normal."  Maybe soon it will come as naturally as --"you'll know. . ."