Since being submerged in the world of childhood cancer, I see and hear so many comments about the nature of cancer. Phrases like, "Kick Cancer's Butt" and "Cancer Sucks" are prevalent. While I agree that cancer is no fun, I haven't been able to bring myself to "personify" cancer -- give it human-like traits. For one thing, I know cancer is not out to "get" Brendan -- or anyone else for that matter. It cannot be vengeful, or spiteful, or malicious. What it can be is unrelenting. Cancer is just a bunch of cells growing out of control, unchecked by the body that tries to protect itself and doing what cells do -- growing and dividing and multiplying. The fact that they went rogue and began wreaking havoc in the body (and causing all sorts of problems) has nothing to do with any desire on the cells part to ruin lives. So, try as I might, I just can't seem to hate cancer the way some people seem to do.
Today was a good day. But things change fast in cancer kids. Brendan slept, showered, ate (through his tube), and played. Tonight he watched a movie. But when I tried to get him to come upstairs, he said he was too tired. Uh oh -- that's never good. Of course that means a quick temperature check. For the past hour his temperature has been hovering between 100.1 and 100.7. We are hitting the hour mark so we'll be calling the hospital. Looks like a long night in the ER somewhere tonight.
Yep. We are headed to Primary Children's Emergency Room tonight. If Brendan's ANC counts are up then we may be able to come home with antibiotics. If his bacteria-fighting blood counts are below 500 then we will be admitted to the hospital to stay. I'll keep you updated.
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