The Reason Why

I've been asked many times, "How is your family doing?"  

"You know, they seem to be doing pretty good." I reply. "Of course, it's hard, but everyone seems to be handling things as well as could be expected."  

Why?  Because of Shaun.  Over the past six months, and more, that is the reason why things have gone so well.  Shaun is the reason.

Obviously, we've had lots of help from many, many people.  This is not something we could have handled alone.  Even the two of us could not have made it on our own.  But Shaun made the biggest difference.  I see that now.

When Brendan's cancer was diagnosed, Shaun dropped everything to be there.  He made arrangements to leave work early so he could be at the MRI where Brendan's tumor was discovered. The afternoon before, when we had found out that Brendan had lost the sight in his left eye, Shaun took Brendan and I out for pizza.  It was a good time to be together and relieved some of the stress of waiting as we realized something was not right. 

Over the years, Shaun worked hard building a firm where he had the flexibility to work his schedule around things that really matter.  He always told me work was just a means to an end -- not THE end.   With the support of the other partners, associates, and staff, Shaun was able to take lots of time off to be at the hospital to help and support.

Shaun has always been supportive of letting me be home with the kids.  When we worried about paying for law school, he was willing to scrimp and save rather than have me go to work.  I've been forever grateful for the gift of being home full time with the kids, thanks to Shaun.

One day, a month or two into this grand adventure, I was feeling tired, lonely and consumed with what was going on at the hospital.  Shaun sent Sarah to the hospital to stay with Brendan while he made reservations at Maddox in Brigham City for us to meet for dinner.  He came from Cache Valley and I came from Salt Lake and we met for a few hours to talk and cry together.  It's the little things that have made a big difference.

Always, Shaun has been willing to carry more than half of the load.  He's either been at the hospital with Brendan, or home with the other kids -- cleaning, fixing, cooking, and chauffeuring kids to and from activities.  He's also kept up on homework and attended Parent-Teacher conferences when I was gone.  

When something needs fixed, Shaun is there to take care of it.  Today, when Brendan's feeding tube got clogged and I was trying to open it back up, Brendan said, "Let's go get dad.  He'll get it open."  Brendan's right.  Shaun has always been able to unclog his line.

At nights, when I am busy writing the blog, Shaun is brushing Aaron's teeth, reading him stories, and tucking him into bed while singing him the Primary songs I promised to sing him.  When Aaron is asleep, and I am still writing, Shaun comes down and prepares Brendan's feeds and gets them set up for the night.  Then, if I am still writing, he waits patiently for me to finish before turning out the lights.

The stress from the last 6 months would have been crushing if I hadn't been able to "unload" it all at times.  Shaun has been the listening ear I needed and the shoulder to cry on.  He has dealt with stress in his own way, yet he has allowed me to suffer and grieve in my own way -- just listening and supporting.  I've valued greatly the priesthood blessings he's worthily and willingly given me when I've needed them.

I've always appreciated Shaun, but I don't think I ever realized just how good I've got it until I see the struggle others deal with when they don't have that kind of support.  This experience has really opened my eyes and taught me to appreciate what I have.  Shaun is one who takes his sacred and divinely appointed role as husband and father seriously.   Thanks, Shaun.  I love you!